Divorce and Re-Marriage : The tension of experience and truth
Many feel I have a very harsh view on re-marriage. I hold that divorce is never an option for two believers and that re-marriage is repeated adultery. Many people challenge this view and in most cases, it is because of their personal experience. I have my own failed marriage. However, the New Testament is not subject to my failures.
As an Evangelist, it is my job to proclaim the gospel which includes repentance. As a prophetic voice, it is call the people to get right with God. As a teacher, it is teach people what the scriptures actually tell us; not what we want them to tell us. It is at the cost coming across as “unlovingly” that I present to you what I believe is the heart of the heart and a more biblical view of divorce and re-marriage.
I fully realize that many think that there was grounds from their divorce. They can hand out the list of reasons. However, if you think the grass is greener on the other side, you need to water your lawn.
The truth of the matter is that God is not into wrecking homes and destruction of the family unit. I am not perfect. I am far from it. As you see, I made my mistakes but that does not change the word of God or the heart of the Holy Spirit for the faithful.
My own pain of divorce
I have been married before. There was no one that questioned how God bought us together. It was confirmation after confirmation. In fact, God told her that we would be married before I even knew it.
The call on us was profound. It was to be about the harvest. The heart of the Spirit moved through us and it was the happiest time of my life.
In 2001, there was marriage trouble and lots of it. Nothing short of a showdown between me and my in-laws had made a very ugly encounter. I was in complete brokenness and did some things that I have regretted. The reality of the trauma that I had from a recent loss and past issues was coming out and causing havoc on the marriage.
Then, we was having a baby and all hell broke loose. In a matter of days, it was havoc between the in-laws and me to coming home to an empty apartment. Completely empty. I still remember the day like it was yesterday. She left. That was June 2001.
I reached out to pastors that knew us and tried to get them involved. I wanted to save the marriage no matter the cost. Several of them answered the call. However, all attempts ended with failure. For whatever reason, I was forced into a divorce that I did not want and I was completely against.
Despite it all, shortly after the divorce, I was in the living room of Jill Austin. She looked at me told me, ” You will be reconcile but it is not now.” There was two other things Jill shared with me about the marriage by the Spirit that I have not released. That prophetic word is over 17 years old. It was confirmed independently by several other prophetic voices.
Throughout the years, every attempt to move on with someone else has ended quickly. It just feel like I was where I didn’t belong. Honestly, it was painful because every day was another day that I did not hear from her and another day I did not know much about my son. However, I knew the prophets had spoken.
Then, I heard she was married to someone else (biblical adultery) and at that point, I thought it was all over. Prophetic word and promises or not; it was all over. She wanted me to sign papers concerning my son. It was all over. I still remember laying those papers on the altar at the International House of Prayer as a prophetic sign.
My attention turned to my evangelistic calling to the nations and being a prophetic voice. I spend most of the time between 2007-2018 outside the United States. All was lost and I could not let people go to hell any longer waiting for the promise.
I would not be honest if I said that there was time while I was overseas that I did not think about the words and visions over us. I wondered how we would be part of the end time revival in light of things as they were. In 2000, I clearly had a prophetic vision of us in an open field doing a mass crusade.
On Febraury 13, 2019; everything changed. In just hours after the passing of Paul Cain, a prophetic voice to the ministry, I had a supernatural encounter that challenged everything. It all circled about the condition of things with my ex-wife and son.
I was in the Appalachian mountains. I was praying for revival in America. In a split second, the manifest presence was surrounding me. I was very aware of the presence of angelic activity in my midst. The Holy Spirit dealt with my unbelief and numbness concerning my family. It simply was not acceptable to keep the status quo. (I will add that at the time I thought was still in the other marriage)
Over the next few weeks, at least 20 confirmations through prophetic words, messages, and other ways happen. I had to act. I did so in a long letter apologizing for the mistakes I made in the marriage and be absent.
The response was heartless. I will not pretend that I did not experience personal pain again over the marriage to be told that she is “not interested” is speaking to me and to have nothing to do with my son until he turns 18.
There is not a question. When I read the text, I questioned everything. I question the visitation. I question the prophetic words. I even questioned the prophetic encounters I had before we was even together. Why would God call me to heal where people do not want to be healed? It made no sense.
A unknown prophet came to me and reminded me that I have preached and wrote about the coming Phoenix revival and I am living it so I can proclaim it. This unknown prophet in Atlanta told me all three things that Jill Austin told me that evening in 2002.
To quote the Richard Marx, “I will be right here waiting.” 2001 was a long time ago but God has not given up on the prophetic call on our marriage or his plans for us in the great end time revival.
At the end, I have done everything I could to see the promise through. God challenged me to prepare to do ministry within the context of having a family again. I can only honestly say I have made those changes.
The issue of hard hearts?
Many question that you can divorce and throw up the “hard heart” card. As you see, I have dealt with this issue up close and personal. Anyone that has been close to the problem with tell you that is a hard heart. Some would throw out random Old Testament passages to justify heading for the chicken exit. I personally think people who do that are wimps and question how much of the Holy Spirit they really have.
If the grass is greener on the other side, it is time to water your lawn. The issues of bitterness (which is what a harden heart really is) and resentment have been destroyed by the power of the Holy Spirit. You stand up and fight for what God has given you, you don’t throw in the towel.
On this side of the Cross, we are called to forgive and to reconcile.
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:15)
The good news is that in a less than a second in the manifest presence of the Holy Spirit; bitterness and resentment can be destroyed. It is amazing how one touch from Heaven renews everything.
The re-marriage issue?
Many, if not all, hold that once there is re-marriage; the other part is free to re-marry. I am not sure where we got this idea but it is not from the New Testament. An hour in the church, some punch and cake does not mean God sees it as a new covenant of marriage. I have rarely send a second marriage of a believer blessed with revival fire. The only exception to this that I am aware of is John Arnott.
Just like you can go take a bath at a church and call it a baptism; you can have cake and punch and call it a wedding. The truth is that re-marriage is just having a party at the church; God does not realize it as another covenant.
When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, “My vow was a mistake.” Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? ( Ecclesiastes 5:4-6)
Marriage is for life and it is between a man and a woman (sorry not Adam and Steve) that God has prophetically drawn together for HIS purposes in the harvest. The purpose of marriage is not have kids and be happy. It is to be fruitful and be holy. Marriage is much more about holiness than it is about happiness.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Matthew 19:6)
Marriages are critical in revival
A few months ago, I released a prophetic word about people in revival losing their families and it was time to tend to hurting at home. This is a kairos word for revival. We need our families with us in the harvest. We can not afford to lose our families in our quest to reap the billion soul harvest.
History is full of failures in revival because they have failed at home. A.A. Allen and Lonnie Frisbee come to mind. Both of them had great ministries but ended broken and a shell of what they once were. The problem was their home life was a complete wreck. I fear it is being repeated in this generation.
In the last face to face meeting I have with Paul Cain in California, he spoke of the need for people without mixture to walk in power without measure. While many will point out his own failures, he realized the need for healthy families and personal holiness.
It is very important that those called to be forerunners tend to the family in this season of rest. We are not in the heat of revival right now. We won’t have this time as soon as Stadium Christianity begins. The time to build bonds with families is now, my friends.
How long of a season to care for our families we have I am not sure. It could months away from the end time harvest or we could have a few more years. Only the Lord knows the times and dates the Father has set.
If you would have asked me in August 1998 when I first had the open vision at the Brownsville Revival and the angels of the harvest came to me; I would have told you by now, we would have the revival over with, caught up to be with the Lord and the times of testing would be under way.
As for me, I will either see the prophetic promise happen and won’t stop believing for it until either the rapture or I am dancing before the Lord crying out “Holy, Holy, Holy” where there will no longer be any pain, sorrow or disappointment. ( Rev. 4, 21)
To end this, I will leave you with the words of Richard Marx in the song he wrote 30 years. It is the cry of what I believe for my own marriage and for my family. You can borrow it for your family too.
Everywhere you go, whatever you do, I will right here waiting for you.