I have recently had to deal with some fake friends. I deal with a lot of people as a public figure. I have many people who love me and agree with me. I have many who hate me and disagree with me. I accept that both exist. However, people who pretend to like you but are doing so for their own pretense is something I just do not get.
Yet, King David said at least 500 years before Jesus came to the earth the following the words,
My companion attacks his friends, he violates his covenant. His talk is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more smoothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords. (Psalms 55:20-21)
The scriptures is full of people who were not true friends and acted more friendly that they really were for personal reasons. However, in every case, God exposed the behavior and it ended badly for them. It is never good to pretend to be a friend just for for the sake of reconnaissance. This is never godly.
The behavior might go without reaction for a time. It might even be unknown for a season. However, it is the end, it will cause a broken relationship every time it happens. There is not Christ like about being a fake friend.
Dealing with fake friends online
Yesterday, things came to light about three people in ministry that are fake friends. One claims to be a prophetess, one a pastor, and one a teacher. With sadness, I had to block them from my news feed because of their unChristlike behavior as a “friend.”
One of them was contacting people that commenting on my status about me and telling them things she disagrees with me and how “wrong” I am. I am a horrible person and “toxic.” This is not to mention that this persons is fine with drinking, smoking cigars, and encourages divorce. However, I am the toxic one for taking a stand for God’s standard of personal holiness and keeping the marriage bed pure. Sorry but 1 Corinthians 7 is very clear.
The pastor has a long history of private messaging me about things he disagrees with me about and how “wrong” I am. He would push his “community” lecture down my throat day after day for weeks. He does not long for revival and would not know the presence of God if it hit him in the face. It is time to get him out of my life. Bless him.
The final one was a “online teacher” who has no problem showing her chest on her livestreams. I am sorry but a quick look at 1 Timothy 2:9 tells that she is in sin and needs to repent. I confronted her for the sin and she refuses to change. Therefore, I have no choice but to do what the scripture tells us: do not associate with such people.
I have given all three of these people several chances before. I unblocked all of them before. I don’t think I will again without real repentance. (change of mind becoming a change of life)
A journey in Proverbs
I will be the first to admit that I am a not a big Proverbs guy. I read a chapter in Acts daily but I don’t do a chapter in Proverbs a day like many say to do. I just don’t. However, in this matter, I do think we can find some good information from the Holy Spirit about fake friends.
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. (Proverbs 11:13)
When someone rushes to tell others “dirt” about someone else or repented sin of someone, they are acting in the spirit of gossip which is demonic. They have lost all trust in the Holy Ghost. If you can’t be trusted with a minor repented of sin of a friend, how can you be trusted with the secrets of God’s heart for the nations? The simple answer is you can’t. People who gossip have lost all ability to operate in the prophetic at any level.
Later in the Proverbs, Solomon returns to the same theme about the dangers of gossippers. Let’s look at what he said to us in Proverbs 16:28b,
….a gossip separates close friends.
The truth is I could go from chapter one to chapter 30 and show you what the Proverbs say about gossip and how it is danger for people in leadership….especially for those who want to hear for the Lord. Anyone who wants to walk in prophetic anointing better protect themselves from being a gossipper or they will have a seriously weakened anointing in the Holy Ghost because of it.
Taking the extreme route with fake friends
I have taken a pretty extreme position with these three “ministers.” I do not see a biblical basis for “boundaries,” in fact, I see quite the opposite. I am not one to launch into a boundaries discussion but I feel there was nothing left to do but cut all off all relationships with them. I have tried every other method to this point. I firmly believe that disassociation with someone must be a last resort and only for the most extreme cases.
All three of these cases have been months of dealing with behaviors that is not becoming of a minister of the gospel. No matter it is always debating “community” with me daily or private messaging people who comment attacking me over my position about divorce. Either way, it is behavior that has went past the biblical norm of correction.
This should only be reserved for the most extreme cases. The other 95% of the time, you have to walk in the apostolic way of life of being “All the believers were together and had everything in common.” (Acts 2:44) The biblical way of life is all for one and one for all. The only excuse for not living this out is when dealing with the most extreme of sins among believers who will not repent of their failures. (1 Corinthians 5:11)
If that are not within the context of those Paul told us to disassociate, we must engage with them, open sin or not.